End of the Rope

It would seem to me that at some point or another, or points, for that matter, that a mother's will and strength must be tested. Today that is how I feel. Aidan will not sleep, or eat. He is 6 months old, and every time I lay him down, he cries. Some people are over the crying phase at 6 weeks, let alone 6 months. I know that you aren't supposed to let infants cry it out, it isn't nice. But, he is fed, changed, and tired. He is even sung to and rocked by the time I lay him down. It used to be that we indulged his whims, bouncing him in the bouncy to sleep until you needed to rest your foot, and then one eye would pop open, then the other, then the crying would start. Well, I got to my wits end with that,too. I have no idea what to do, and David says it's not me, it's Aidan, it's his personality. Let me tell you, that is one of the hardest concepts for me to accept, I always want to blame myself. Right now he just woke up and he has slept for 20 minutes, tops. That's 20 minutes crying, 20 minutes sleeping, then he is awake. I can't convey how frustrating this is. He has been layed down the same way every day for months now, and still he cries. It's like routine doesn't phase him. To add the icing to the cake, he has suddenly taken absolutely no interest in nursing. Now, if I felt it was time to wean, I would, but he can't seem to live without nursing before bed and in the morning, and in the middle of the night,too. So in between these times to keep my supply somewhat worthy of those long feeding stretches, he has to nurse during the day. Which he won't. he flops around like a fish, looking at everything and anything he can, rolling over, smacking me, etc. If I thought it would be better with a bottle, oh, trust me, we would go there. But it's the same flailing, smacking, and rolling. I feel likeI am going to tear every last hair on my head out. I need some peace. Peace doesn't come cheap with 3 boys in the house.