It's all about me

I will tell you what, this post is all about me. All about who I forgot that I am. What is the matter with me? Tonight we went to pick up some Indian food and while there, David picked up what looked to be an innocuous publication for vegetarian people. Unfortunately for me, it turned out to be a magazine on the order of a PETA publication, showing the grisly details of factoryfarming. I was not startled, or upset. I mean, I was upset, of course, but not patrticularly so since it isn't the first time I saw something like this. I flipped through it and decidedly made myself upset for different reasons other than the obvious, which were bloodily staring back at me. I got upset because I am a hyprocrite. I mean, everyone has their idiosyncrasies, no one is immune, but I realized I am no different than a typical meat eater that subscribes to factory farming, or rather, ignores it. I am no different at all. I am the one who still purchases the Tyson chicken breasts for the 2/5ths of my family that still eat meat. I may not be putting it in my mouth, but it is certainly in my cart. Something has happened to me, I have become lazy with my convictions. I guess in some ways I have just been trying to keep my family happy. But at what cost to my personal beliefs? Some might say, "so what?" it's my husband, he would just end up buying it anyway. Well, this spurned a rather long conversation in the car that was really more global than I had intended. I realize I am not the one vegetarian that is going to change the world, but I would really, really, like to change my household. I need to recycle more, become more resourceful, and I need to research more recipies online for healthy vegetarian options so that I can set a good example for the vegetarians and meat eaters in this family alike. I don't want to change David and DJ, just myself and the way I have been conducting business around here. I have never been one of those preachy vegetarians. I have never thrown paint at furriers, although I have prank phoned them before. I sit at the table with my family and watch them eat meat, sometimes even tease me and poke fun at my meatless meals. I once wrote a research paper on Factory Farming in America, and my classmates at the time threw the crumpled-up leaflets I had passed out at me after my presentation. I think after that point I was done trying to be the "educator". But it is a horrible, disgusting, dirty secret that reguardless of meat preference, should be abolished in this country, but sadly that will not happen anytime soon. It's a supply and demand issue, and Americans are unwilling and unable to relinquish their demand, it holds a deathgrip on the farming industry. If we calmed down, consume less, eat more whole grains, and wasted less of what we purchase, things could slow up a bit. But this is a fast world, and we want fast food, which leads to fast farming. I really have overwhelmed myself tonight. So, yes, it is all about me, and all about the changes I need to make.